Premature Evaluation is the weekly column in which we explore the wilds of early access. This week, Fraser s pottering around in RocketWerkz’ space station sim, Stationeers, and learning that, just perhaps, it’s better to stay on Earth.
Why is a giant egg on top of my microwave? I m trying to play through Stationeers dire tutorial, but I actually feel like I m participating in one of Gordon Ramsay s literal kitchen nightmares. In the egg carton, it was very much a normal-sized, innocuous egg, but somewhere between picking it up and mistakenly putting it on and not in the microwave, it grew at least 20 times larger. And I m not sure I really should be putting eggs in microwaves. Certainly not to make muffins.
I somehow muddle through, making a muffin that I don t need and fixing a cable that does nothing. Well done me – I ve completed the tutorial. Lamentably, I ve retained very little of the excessively complicated instructions required to perform the simplest of tasks. With unearned confidence, I dive into the game-proper, my head full of dreams of lunar bases and SCIENCE. It is dark, I m alone and I have no idea what I need to do.
